I started a six-month Master Coach certification program in June of this year. I knew that this would involve completing a project, and I knew the project would be the vehicle for me to learn the big lessons and experience growth. However, I really didn’t expect the lessons to arrive in the way that they have. 

I regularly work with coaching clients who have a big goal but find themselves stuck. They aren’t taking action and they have given up hope of actually achieving their goal. Often the goals are things like a weight loss milestone or a money goal, and the clients will say things like “I don’t know why can’t I do this” or “I’ll never be able to do this.” The challenge is that as long as they believe these thoughts, they will prove the thoughts true. But just because our brain offers these thoughts about a big goal doesn’t mean the goal is not attainable.

Much like many of the people I coach, I tend to focus on getting things right. I want to have the emails I send out say the “right” thing and in the “right” way, and I even want to make sure I choose the “right” things in my project. But, focusing on the “right” way all of the time holds us back from doing the things that create the learning we need in order to grow.

Early in this program, I proposed multiple ideas to my instructors for my project for approval. All were denied. Instead, I was assigned the challenge of creating a project that would require me to get 100 Nos in 100 days. This challenge actually propelled me to write this column you are reading right now. My specific project? Get 100 editors and publishers to say NO to my writing about life coaching-related topics. Partway through the process, the goal was modified to include also getting 10 yeses.

When I tell people about this project I can count on one of these responses: 1) That’s a lot! 2) Why would you try to get people to say No? 3) That’s crazy! How are you supposed to do that? Of course, I’ve had these thoughts myself along the way, but even though I am still in the midst of this project I can already tell you it was a brilliant assignment. So, while you may not want to write articles as your goal, you might have something else you want to go after. Here’s why I highly encourage you to push yourself toward a goal that may seem like too much:

Seeking “Nos” has forced me to question what getting it “right” really means. If I want to get that many responses I can’t focus on “perfection.” I just need to get going. The big goal also means that I didn’t have time to focus only on exactly how this process would work. I just needed to start and figure it out as I go.

I have had to trust myself in new ways, and I have learned more about how my brain works than I could have without this goal. Some days I want to believe this is a “crazy goal,” but I’m still going after it.

Pushing through this project has shown me that I can do the hard stuff even when it’s uncomfortable. Doing this work means I better navigate my brain when it tries to convince me that watching Netflix or eating a cookie or cleaning up would be more fun than working on the project.

This project also challenged me to notice the roadblocks my brain offers to make this harder. I’m learning to ask myself, “how could this be easier?” That one little question led me to a wealth of creative solutions. If I had kept believing the story that this project is hard, I would have continued to make it hard and be hard on myself in the process.

Above all, this has been a lesson in maintaining belief. It is natural to listen to the voice that says this won’t work because that means I don’t have to keep putting in the work. But as long as I believe my result is inevitable, then I keep working on creating my goal. Even when the voice of disbelief says it would be easier to give up, I choose to believe it is going to happen and it is going to be amazing. 

What would shift if you went after your big goals no matter what?