One of my clients this week came with a common request, “Please help me figure out how to actually do the things that I say I want to do. I just can’t do it and I keep repeating the same old patterns.”

Most of us have been there. We set a goal like losing weight, stopping a bad habit or completing a project that we actually want to do. But, when it comes down to the moment we need to follow through, we cave to old patterns and don’t get closer to our goal. And the more we do this, the easier it is to believe the goal won’t happen.

But just because this has happened to you does not mean there is anything wrong with you at all. In fact, one could argue that it’s just the opposite. The primitive part of your brain is doing exactly what it is meant to do. Its logic is that whatever you have been doing has kept you alive and so it wants to continue to do it that way because it knows it works.

The catch, of course, is that you intellectually know this may not be the best solution to continue repeating this pattern if you’ve been overeating or not exercising or not completing your work. 

So why do you continue to listen to this voice in your brain even when you know you want to make a change for the better? Because this side of your brain is persistent.

It’s almost like this part of your brain has a built-in marketing and advertising agency. Picture Boss Baby trying to run the show in your brain. It is determined to conserve energy, seek pleasure and avoid danger. And even more importantly, it has an unlimited budget to get you to buy its version of the story.

You might be familiar with your primitive brain’s ad campaigns: just one won’t hurt, I can just start tomorrow, It would be rude to the host not to eat dessert, I have plenty of time to do this later. All of these kinds of thoughts are part of your primitive brain’s advertising campaign to keep you where you are.

But there is good news: you can change the channel. You do have another part of your brain you can tune into. Your pre-frontal cortex is more like your parent brain. This part of your brain knows what is actually best for you and serves your goals and interests. It knows that a cookie or that bag of chips may taste great, but it also knows eating them won’t help you toward your health goals and your future self will thank you for choosing something else.

The catch is that tuning into this messaging in your brain is a bit more like reading consumer reports or maybe watching an educational show. This voice doesn’t have an unlimited marketing budget and it doesn’t seem as flashy or pushy as that toddler marketer in your brain. 

This part of your brain knows what is best for you in the long run and what serves you well. Its messaging is there for you, but you have to be willing to tune into it for the real story. 

Just like you can become a more savvy media consumer who doesn’t run out and buy everything advertised on TV or social media, you can also become better consumers of the thoughts your brain offers you.

It’s not a problem that you have this inner toddler marketing genius trying to keep you alive. The power is in learning to see these messages as just part of the landscape so you can begin to tune them out like you might an overrun commercial rather than acting on them. You just need to be willing to choose to tune into what serves you.

Your brain’s default thoughts, just like the commercial running for the latest gadget, aren’t a problem. Be curious about what your brain is offering and why you are listening to it. Then decide if this thought is serving you long-term. What will you need to believe to begin tuning out the toddler marketer and begin tuning into what you really want?